Sex Life
Updated on 3 November 2023
After having a baby, a woman goes through an immense transformation, not only physically but also emotionally and psychologically. Of course, when you have a newborn, you will devote your entire attention to caring for them. Sex might be the last thing on your mind, but once you settle into the new routine, you will wonder when is the right time to resume sexual activity.
Postpartum sex is not just a physical act and depends not just on whether you are physically ready. The decision to have sex after delivery depends on a variety of factors, including the following:
Your sexual drive and motivation for sex
Your emotional readiness
Your overall health and quality of life
Your relationship with your partner
Your ability to balance your identity as a mom and as a sexual being
According to ACOG (American College of Gynecologists and Obstetricians), there is no fixed time to start having sex after birth. However, most experts recommend you wait for a minimum of 4–6 weeks before resuming sexual activity.
If you gave birth vaginally, you might have experienced a perineal or vaginal tear or an episiotomy that is currently healing. In that case, having sex before your tear has completely healed can make you susceptible to vaginal infection. On the other hand, if you delivered your baby through a C-section, recovery may take even longer. Your healthcare provider may recommend you wait for a minimum of 4 weeks before resuming sexual activity. The incision may take time to heal, so make sure to consult your doctor during your postpartum appointment before resuming postpartum sex.
Hormonal changes during pregnancy and after delivery can make your vaginal tender and dry, especially if you are breastfeeding. You may also experience pain if your vagina is healing from perineal tears or an episiotomy. To ease the pain and discomfort, you can try these sex after-delivery precautions:
Before indulging in sex after delivery, take steps for pain relief beforehand. Take over-the-counter painkillers, empty your bladder, and take a warm soak or bath. If you experience a burning sensation after sex, use an ice-cold towel on the area.
If you are experiencing vaginal dryness, this may be a lifesaver.
If you are not ready for intercourse, you can try alternatives with your partner, such as mutual masturbation, massage, or oral sex.
However, if sex still feels too painful, contact your doctor and ask about possible solutions.
Postpartum sex will surely feel different. Most women face some form of a sexual issue during the first 3 months after delivery. The most common problems include the following:
Vaginal dryness
Pain
Bleeding
Episiotomy or perineal tear
Loss of elasticity in the tissues
Low libido
Loose muscles
Fatigue
Soreness
Hormones play an important role in a woman's postpartum recovery. The levels of estrogen drop drastically immediately after delivery. If you are breastfeeding, these levels may reduce to below pre-pregnancy levels. This also increases the possibility of vaginal dryness, which can cause irritation and even bleeding.
Surprisingly, you can get pregnant quickly after delivery. In many women, the first ovulation occurs around six weeks in women who aren't breastfeeding, some even earlier. For breastfeeding women, nursing can act as birth control for a few months after delivery. However, this may not work perfectly for everyone. If you are planning to have sex soon after delivery, make sure to use a reliable birth control method.
Right after childbirth, you will experience some bleeding while your uterus heals. Sex may result in additional blood loss. Your vagina may feel drier and more sensitive for a few weeks after giving birth. This is because the vaginal muscles become thinner, which can further lead to injury or tearing. In such cases, bleeding is also common. If you experience bleeding during sex, get in touch with your doctor.
All this may sound scary, but don't worry. You can have a normal and fulfilling sex life even after pregnancy. Use these sex tips after having a baby:
Wait for a few weeks till your physician clears you for sex. Give your body enough time to come back to its pre-pregnancy state. Try other intimate activities like massage as a warm-up before resuming sexual intercourse.
Give the vagina enough time to exude its natural lubrication. Increase foreplay, engage in other activities, or try mutual masturbation before going for penetrative sex.
Even after additional foreplay, you may need to use lubricants while your hormones are going haywire. Use a water-based option, as oil-based lubricants can cause further irritation.
Kegel exercises are great for rebuilding the pelvic floor muscles. This can be quite helpful with most of the post-delivery issues, such as incontinence. They will also help you regain sensation and strength in the vagina.
Sex after delivery will differ for both of you. Keep the lines of communication open with your partner. Discuss what feels good and things that cause pain or discomfort. This will help you both enjoy sex without any unnecessary discomfort.
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Written by
Roohi Kalra
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